It's been awhile since I've written, but summer classes have kept me busy. However, that doesn't stop me from thinking about his mission. My feelings about him going really depend on the day. Some days, I am completely fine with it, and other days, I just want to handcuff him to me so he can't leave. Yesterday marked 20 months of being together. 20 months. Just 1/3 of a year shy of being 2 years, which is how long he'll be gone. During that time, our relationship will change. I just pray it will get better, and I can see how it will. We will definitely work on our communication. With the whole mission thing, we can't be mushy like we always are. Some mushiness will be nice, though. But we'll have to talk about things, and I want to do it in depth with him. I want to have a real conversation with him like we used to have when we were friends. He says he wants to know everything that happens. However, I feel a bit hesitant with that. Yes, I'll tell him important things that he would need to know (e.g. if I for some reason needed surgery, etc.). With the small things though, I don't want to distract him with stuff of that sort, like me having a bad day or getting a bad grade (unless I failed out of college; I feel he has the right to know that, but that will most likely not happen). So instead, I'm going to keep a journal where I record everything that happens in those two years and when he comes back, I'll have him read it. It'll take him awhile to get through it, but I know he'll appreciate it.
I'll have school to focus on so I'm not too concerned about doing nothing while he's gone. Like any MG, I will count down to when he comes home, but I don't want to do it by days. 730 days feels like an eternity. I will have an electronic countdown for that, but by hand, I want to do it by weeks and months. I noticed a lot of girls have done a paper chain, and I'm thinking that I want to do that. I'm still debating whether or not I want to do it by weeks or months. Either way, I'll write something on each chain. The first part will be how many weeks down and how many to go. The second thing will be something that I love about him, a favorite memory about us, lyrics to one of our favorite songs, etc. And when that week comes up, I will send it to him in a letter. Just something to make him smile and remember me. And I'll probably spray it with my perfume so he can remember what I smell like.
He got to visit me last Saturday, and it was absolutely amazing. We got to be alone together, and even started looking at Atlantis for our (praying this will work) wedding venue. We both love it but it will cost a lot of money. I want to wait two years when he comes home that way he can settle back into a normal routine, get into a community college to become an EMT, and we can both save up some money to make it happen. With me being in PT school when he comes back, I can really be anywhere. I'm currently looking at six different schools: three in GA, one in FL, one in SC, and one in NC. Four of these six schools have a nearby community college that offers EMT, so those will be my top choices. I feel that I should take him into consideration. I want to be with him and I want to be close to him when he comes back. He already said he'll move to wherever I am so I should at least be considerate in picking out where to live. I know a lot of people say not to, but even with him not in the picture, I will still be choosing these places; having a school nearby for him is really a bonus. More about the schools and my decisions with them will be on my other blog: Life as a Pre-PT Student (see side panel). However, with the wedding plans, he was expecting it about three months after he comes back. I wouldn't be able to handle that. So much goes into planning a wedding and three months in not much time to plan one, especially a destination wedding. Maybe we'll be able to come up with a compromise and figure out something that will work with the both of us.
Two years. Seems like a lot, while at the same time, feels like nothing compared to the rest of our lives. Sometimes I feel like it will be torture but good for us at the same time. It will help us become better people. We'll learn patience, communication, and really appreciate one another. Even though I would love for him to come the community college near me right now and us able to see each other all the time, I am really beginning to believe that these two years will have a positive impact on our relationship. I'll just have to keep thinking positive this whole time, which will probably include inspirational quotes all over my bedroom and bathroom mirror and an alarm that says "you can do it" for 22 seconds which I have gotten from this:
I'm sure I've put it on the MG website before but we can always use a little reminder :) I hope this all inspires you!
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