Last night was one of the scariest nights ever. I live in Georgia about an hour away from Atlanta, and I was in the devastating storms that occurred last night. However, I am considerably lucky. By the time the storms came my way, most of them were either weak or died down. I can't say that for a lot of places. There were certain towns in Alabama and Georgia that were destroyed and left with nothing as you can see in the video.
I am very lucky survived through that, but more so, I am blessed that God made sure that my family, friends, and Darren were safe. They were in the middle with storms to the north, south, and west of them. Tornadoes barely missed them along the way. Even though they are safe, I cannot say that for everyone. I still have a home, my health, my loved ones safe, electricity, and thousands of people don't have these. It's moments like this that makes you appreciate what you have.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To
Today's my 20th birthday, and I end up in tears. Don't get me wrong, it was a great day. I got to see my family and I got to see Darren last night. However, a discussion I had with my mom took a turn for the depressing. Let me give you some background information first.
When Darren and I first started going out, my mom freaked about it. She was against it and made sure I knew about it. As time went by, she got used to the idea of us together and has become supportive of it. She even is helping out with some things for his senior prom because his parents aren't helping him out in any way with it (what they have against prom, I have no idea).
Well, yesterday I came home from school for my birthday and Easter, and my mom was asking about his mission. I've given the current update about it and how it will be in terms of communication when he's gone. Then, she and I got into what will happen with our relationship while he's gone. Pretty much there are two options: stay his girlfriend or be only his best friend but still communicate with him. I think with talking with my mom, I made it sound like that I'm going to just be friends with him while he's gone. My mom thinks I'm making the right decision for both of us, but while texting to her about it today when I returned to school, I'm not so sure if it is. I mean, could I break his heart when we have plans for marriage and our future when he comes back? The thought of hurting him breaks my heart and I just ended up in tears. I know he and I need to talk about what exactly will happen, but he doesn't want to talk about it. It depresses him to talk about his mission because he doesn't like thinking about all that he is missing out, such as two of my birthdays and two anniversaries, my college graduation, etc. I understand the sacrifices we're both making while he's gone, but am I able to sacrifice our relationship?
When Darren and I first started going out, my mom freaked about it. She was against it and made sure I knew about it. As time went by, she got used to the idea of us together and has become supportive of it. She even is helping out with some things for his senior prom because his parents aren't helping him out in any way with it (what they have against prom, I have no idea).
Well, yesterday I came home from school for my birthday and Easter, and my mom was asking about his mission. I've given the current update about it and how it will be in terms of communication when he's gone. Then, she and I got into what will happen with our relationship while he's gone. Pretty much there are two options: stay his girlfriend or be only his best friend but still communicate with him. I think with talking with my mom, I made it sound like that I'm going to just be friends with him while he's gone. My mom thinks I'm making the right decision for both of us, but while texting to her about it today when I returned to school, I'm not so sure if it is. I mean, could I break his heart when we have plans for marriage and our future when he comes back? The thought of hurting him breaks my heart and I just ended up in tears. I know he and I need to talk about what exactly will happen, but he doesn't want to talk about it. It depresses him to talk about his mission because he doesn't like thinking about all that he is missing out, such as two of my birthdays and two anniversaries, my college graduation, etc. I understand the sacrifices we're both making while he's gone, but am I able to sacrifice our relationship?
Friday, April 22, 2011
18 Months
So today, Darren and I celebrate 18 months of being together <3 It truly has been the most amazing time with him, and I'm absolutely grateful to have him in my life. He knows how to make me happy, laugh, and smile. He says the incredibly sweetest things to me, and I can tell in his voice and in his eyes he means every single word. Even though we have our arguments, he brings me back with his strong faith in our relationship. It truly is amazing when you have someone who cares about you more than they care about themselves, and that's how it is with the both of us. I really wish I could have seen him this weekend and spend all day tomorrow together. I honestly could not think of anything better than to be in his arms all day and his lips against mine. Instead, I will express 18 that I love about him.
1. He's so sweet that I get a sugar high from him. He would get it to the point that I'll end up crying because I'm so happy.
2. He's very supportive of me. Definitely my rock.
3. He accepts me for who I am. Never has he tried to make me do anything that I didn't want to.
4. He's a dork... And I am a sucker for dorks.
5. I find him to be very cute.... Especially when he blushes ;)
6. The cheesy pick-up lines he uses. Goes with the dork thing, but it's something particular that I like and I'm always guaranteed to smile.
7. His voice. I could listen to him for hours. I find it to be very soothing and get butterflies when he sings.
8. His faith in us. Never has he felt that it would never work out between us, and he does his hardest to make sure I have the same faith too.
9. His determination. The past couple of months, he has been working hard to pay for prom since his parents wouldn't help out. He never gave up even though there were obstacles in the way.
10. His arms. I love cuddling with him. I fit perfectly in his arms and it comforts me when he holds me.
11. The "dork" smile. It's what I call when he smiles so big that you can see all his teeth. I can't help but giggle when he does it.
12. The way he looks at me. I can see it in his eyes that he cares about me. It's so overwhelming at times.
13. His kisses. I'm absolutely 100% addicted to his kisses. I really can't get enough of them.
14. He knows when I'm feeling down, even without me saying anything. And he makes sure I tell him what's wrong sooner or later.
15. And when I do finally admit it, he comforts me. He calms me down and keep thinking about the positives.
16. We don't have to really talk. We're so comfortable with each other that we don't need to fill up every space with words.
17. Him talking about our future. He's so excited to be with me, and he has made many plans for us.
And the most important reason:
18. He's my best friend.
So, that's my list. I never imagined ever being with someone like him, and now that I do, I couldn't imagine ever being without him. I love you Darren Thorne, and I always will!
1. He's so sweet that I get a sugar high from him. He would get it to the point that I'll end up crying because I'm so happy.
2. He's very supportive of me. Definitely my rock.
3. He accepts me for who I am. Never has he tried to make me do anything that I didn't want to.
4. He's a dork... And I am a sucker for dorks.
5. I find him to be very cute.... Especially when he blushes ;)
6. The cheesy pick-up lines he uses. Goes with the dork thing, but it's something particular that I like and I'm always guaranteed to smile.
7. His voice. I could listen to him for hours. I find it to be very soothing and get butterflies when he sings.
8. His faith in us. Never has he felt that it would never work out between us, and he does his hardest to make sure I have the same faith too.
9. His determination. The past couple of months, he has been working hard to pay for prom since his parents wouldn't help out. He never gave up even though there were obstacles in the way.
10. His arms. I love cuddling with him. I fit perfectly in his arms and it comforts me when he holds me.
11. The "dork" smile. It's what I call when he smiles so big that you can see all his teeth. I can't help but giggle when he does it.
12. The way he looks at me. I can see it in his eyes that he cares about me. It's so overwhelming at times.
13. His kisses. I'm absolutely 100% addicted to his kisses. I really can't get enough of them.
14. He knows when I'm feeling down, even without me saying anything. And he makes sure I tell him what's wrong sooner or later.
15. And when I do finally admit it, he comforts me. He calms me down and keep thinking about the positives.
16. We don't have to really talk. We're so comfortable with each other that we don't need to fill up every space with words.
17. Him talking about our future. He's so excited to be with me, and he has made many plans for us.
And the most important reason:
18. He's my best friend.
So, that's my list. I never imagined ever being with someone like him, and now that I do, I couldn't imagine ever being without him. I love you Darren Thorne, and I always will!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
First Two Days of Work
So, I just started my job at the dining hall this week. I've only worked two days and I'm exhausted! I've come back home and was ready to just crash on my bed. However, it's a nice place, I'm making new friends, getting free stuff, and I'm getting paid. What more can I ask for?
My first day was on Tuesday. Right before going into work, I had to have orientation for it, which meant two hours of paperwork (fun). After that, I went straight to my work place to begin. I was tired, but excited. I met some of the managers, and got a tour around the place. I was given my uniform, which was a snazzy smock and a UGA hat, and went straight to work...
NOT!!!!!
The first thing I do on the clock is have my dinner break. I'm not kidding! I went and ate before anything else. I joined a bunch of other workers and had my dinner with them. THEN, I began working. They first put me at smoothies. It was fun. I got to make some and then served it to customers. Sadly, I only worked there for about half an hour before being switched to the dining hall. The dining hall is one of the most boring places to work, even though it is one of the easiest. All you do is go around, wipe down tables, fill napkin holders, and return the condiments to their original place. It's not rocket science, but it is very boring. Nothing interesting happens, but you do get a lot of mini breaks that you put yourself on.
Of course, the manager for the dining hall knew this would be too easy for us college students, so they added some random chores to do to spice things up a bit. One of them was sweeping and mopping the coolers and freezer (except we didn't mop the freezer; that would have ended badly). Seriously, how does workers for the dining hall end up doing that? We were nowhere near the kitchen! And if you have ever been in one of those coolers or freezers, you know they're cold. One should not be in there longer than 15 seconds, no joke. Or maybe that's just me because I hate the cold (I'm a Southern girl at heart). Another thing we had to do was organize the vacuum closet. This one I could totally understand since it's right outside the dining hall, but the thing is, it was already organized! We couldn't change anything about it if we tried!
Another thing about the dining hall is that between 6-8, it is so packed that we couldn't do anything. So basically for about two hours my co-workers and I just stood around. Once in awhile, we filled up the napkin holders, but that's about it. When it got close to closing time, we were able to begin cleaning up and wiping down everything for the next day.
Day two started interesting. First off, the time clock wouldn't let me punch in, so I had to get the manager to manually do it. Secondly, they didn't have me in the system for shifts, so they decided to put me in smoothies again. I served one smoothie when my supervisor told me to go on break. Are you kidding? I just got there! Even though getting a break right at the beginning may sound nice, it only means that I have to work the rest of my shift without one. It was also very hot in the dining room, so everyone came to smoothies to cool off. I lost count of how many smoothies I made, blended, and served, and standing in a small area for four hours is not ideal.
I know it's only been two days, and I'm already complaining, but I'm tired and not used to this. I'm still excited for it and can't wait to see the money roll in :)
My first day was on Tuesday. Right before going into work, I had to have orientation for it, which meant two hours of paperwork (fun). After that, I went straight to my work place to begin. I was tired, but excited. I met some of the managers, and got a tour around the place. I was given my uniform, which was a snazzy smock and a UGA hat, and went straight to work...
NOT!!!!!
The first thing I do on the clock is have my dinner break. I'm not kidding! I went and ate before anything else. I joined a bunch of other workers and had my dinner with them. THEN, I began working. They first put me at smoothies. It was fun. I got to make some and then served it to customers. Sadly, I only worked there for about half an hour before being switched to the dining hall. The dining hall is one of the most boring places to work, even though it is one of the easiest. All you do is go around, wipe down tables, fill napkin holders, and return the condiments to their original place. It's not rocket science, but it is very boring. Nothing interesting happens, but you do get a lot of mini breaks that you put yourself on.
Of course, the manager for the dining hall knew this would be too easy for us college students, so they added some random chores to do to spice things up a bit. One of them was sweeping and mopping the coolers and freezer (except we didn't mop the freezer; that would have ended badly). Seriously, how does workers for the dining hall end up doing that? We were nowhere near the kitchen! And if you have ever been in one of those coolers or freezers, you know they're cold. One should not be in there longer than 15 seconds, no joke. Or maybe that's just me because I hate the cold (I'm a Southern girl at heart). Another thing we had to do was organize the vacuum closet. This one I could totally understand since it's right outside the dining hall, but the thing is, it was already organized! We couldn't change anything about it if we tried!
Another thing about the dining hall is that between 6-8, it is so packed that we couldn't do anything. So basically for about two hours my co-workers and I just stood around. Once in awhile, we filled up the napkin holders, but that's about it. When it got close to closing time, we were able to begin cleaning up and wiping down everything for the next day.
Day two started interesting. First off, the time clock wouldn't let me punch in, so I had to get the manager to manually do it. Secondly, they didn't have me in the system for shifts, so they decided to put me in smoothies again. I served one smoothie when my supervisor told me to go on break. Are you kidding? I just got there! Even though getting a break right at the beginning may sound nice, it only means that I have to work the rest of my shift without one. It was also very hot in the dining room, so everyone came to smoothies to cool off. I lost count of how many smoothies I made, blended, and served, and standing in a small area for four hours is not ideal.
I know it's only been two days, and I'm already complaining, but I'm tired and not used to this. I'm still excited for it and can't wait to see the money roll in :)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
To All the MGs
I know that a lot of you were really upset with the blog by Bro Jo (if you haven't read it, I don't recommend reading it). Believe me, I was upset and mad too. The thing is, all he's done is lit the fire under me to prove to him that he is wrong about waiting. Who is he to say that I should break up with my boyfriend before he leaves on his mission? He's not God; he's just a guy with a big mouth who doesn't know what he's talking about. He's not worth it.
I'll tell you what's worth it. Think of all the girls who just got their guy back this week. How happy they are to have their man back in their arms knowing that it's not a mirage in front of them. That's what's worth waiting for: to have the love of your life back right beside you.
This is something I live by: If something is easy, then it probably wasn't worth it to begin with. We all know that waiting is hard, but if we stay committed and supportive, we'll get our reward in the end.
So this is what I have to say to every MG and MB in the world: you are some of the strongest people I have ever met, and I consider myself blessed to have met you, whether it was through a long conversation or just a simple "Like" on a status. You're like family to me. That is what the whole Facebook group is: a family. We're here for each other through the good times and bad. We never let someone feel like they're alone in this. We have different stories that brought to us to this group. Even though we may be at different parts of the journey, we all strive for the same thing: to have our guy back with us. So, don't let this dude bring you down. You are all amazing and strong for doing this, and I am very lucky to be a part of this family.
I'll tell you what's worth it. Think of all the girls who just got their guy back this week. How happy they are to have their man back in their arms knowing that it's not a mirage in front of them. That's what's worth waiting for: to have the love of your life back right beside you.
This is something I live by: If something is easy, then it probably wasn't worth it to begin with. We all know that waiting is hard, but if we stay committed and supportive, we'll get our reward in the end.
So this is what I have to say to every MG and MB in the world: you are some of the strongest people I have ever met, and I consider myself blessed to have met you, whether it was through a long conversation or just a simple "Like" on a status. You're like family to me. That is what the whole Facebook group is: a family. We're here for each other through the good times and bad. We never let someone feel like they're alone in this. We have different stories that brought to us to this group. Even though we may be at different parts of the journey, we all strive for the same thing: to have our guy back with us. So, don't let this dude bring you down. You are all amazing and strong for doing this, and I am very lucky to be a part of this family.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Music Brings Us Together
So I told Darren about my blog when he came back from his trip. He got to see it for the first time today, and I have a feeling that he is still on it. Gotta love him. He absolutely loves it, which makes me happy since it's about us and our journey together. And if he didn't, he'd just have to get over it :)
One thing I know he's enjoying is the playlist of songs I created. It contains every song that reminds me of him whether I heard it once or a million times. And now he's gotten involved and has come up with some songs that reminds him of me (isn't he SWEET?!). And so I've now added them to my playlist, which continues to grow as each minute passes by, and is currently up to forty-nine songs. I'm sure there will be more included by the end of the night and many more after that.
It's really nice to have him do this. It now feels like not just my blog, but ours. Another thing that we share and will bring us together. Of course, I will run it when he's gone, but like I said earlier, it's OUR journey together, not just mine. Being away from each other will only make our love stronger and bring us closer together. It'll help with our communication too.
Music was the thing that brought us together in the first place, and will continue to play an important role in our relationship. :)
One thing I know he's enjoying is the playlist of songs I created. It contains every song that reminds me of him whether I heard it once or a million times. And now he's gotten involved and has come up with some songs that reminds him of me (isn't he SWEET?!). And so I've now added them to my playlist, which continues to grow as each minute passes by, and is currently up to forty-nine songs. I'm sure there will be more included by the end of the night and many more after that.
It's really nice to have him do this. It now feels like not just my blog, but ours. Another thing that we share and will bring us together. Of course, I will run it when he's gone, but like I said earlier, it's OUR journey together, not just mine. Being away from each other will only make our love stronger and bring us closer together. It'll help with our communication too.
Music was the thing that brought us together in the first place, and will continue to play an important role in our relationship. :)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I Dream of the Beach
I want to live at the beach. I know, completely random and not my missionary-related, but it's something that's important to me. I absolutely love the beach (in case you haven't noticed). I love walking on the sand, swimming in with the waves, watching the sunset, eating seafood, not wearing layers and layers of clothes... You get the point. I can imagine owning an ocean front beach house that is very simple in design and a calming atmosphere. Very open and welcoming. The scent of sea salt filling the air. A hammock tied to two palm trees. Tropical flowers everywhere. To me, that is a perfect place. The best thing: Darren wants the same thing too :)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Darren's Poem to Me
Here is now I know that my Dare Bear loves me and I am very lucky to have him. I love you so much!
We live our lives with souls of love
In a great tree with two morning doves
Stuck in our minds with thoughts of each other
Binding our hearts as one great lover
With arms like a pillow you soften my cries
And a small sweet kiss of love you strengthen our ties
Our bodies my touch as a bear with a hug
Who sang a soft song on the tree above
Along with the birds on the tree top of height
One to the other the doves did recite
"I'm happy today, I'll be happy tomorrow
In times of glad and in times of sorrow
I want you now, and I'll want you then
With all my heart that you did win
I'll love you past the end of time
So stay with me and be all mine."
We live our lives with souls of love
In a great tree with two morning doves
Stuck in our minds with thoughts of each other
Binding our hearts as one great lover
With arms like a pillow you soften my cries
And a small sweet kiss of love you strengthen our ties
Our bodies my touch as a bear with a hug
Who sang a soft song on the tree above
Along with the birds on the tree top of height
One to the other the doves did recite
"I'm happy today, I'll be happy tomorrow
In times of glad and in times of sorrow
I want you now, and I'll want you then
With all my heart that you did win
I'll love you past the end of time
So stay with me and be all mine."
Monday, April 4, 2011
Our Story
You know those moments in life that you think would never happen to you? Well, that happened with me. I am a missionary girlfriend (MG for short). Boy, did I not expect this to be me. My idea of how college would be was way differently from what is now, but I'm very happy with how things turned out. I became inspired while reading other MG blogs and I decided to make one of my own journey of waiting for someone I care about. As of right now, Darren hasn't applied just yet, but it will be soon, and he should get his call sometime in the summer. I figured it would be helpful to start writing now because there will be a lot of changes happening very fast, and I would like to share my story with everybody. For my first blog, I decided to give background information on how Darren and I met and what led us to now.
We first met in August 2008. I was seventeen, a senior, and had just recently moved to Georgia from Pennsylvania. Darren was a sophomore and a month away from being sixteen. I first noticed him in my neighborhood on the first day of school when he was walking into his house, and thought to myself, "He looks cute... from the back." We were in marching band together, and we ended up next to each other for opening set, but I didn't know it was the same guy for weeks after that first glance. We didn't talk to each other until the first football game. We were on the sideline watching the other school's band performance. Then, that band started playing "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind, and Fire. I previously played that song in my old band so I was humming along to it. He then turned around and had a debate as to where or not it was a good song! Talk about first impressions! Just to mess with him I kept on shining the triangle on my shako (hat) in his eyes.
After that first time, we talked from time to time. It ended up feeling like he was stalking me, because he was everywhere! We ended up realizing that we were in the same band class together too (he played tuba, I played flute)! He would always come up to me and start talking, and I'm thinking to myself, "this is a little creepy." Then, he figured out that he and I live in the same neighborhood, and found out where I lived, so he started coming over to my house. However, as all this happened, we became the very best of friends. We were always together. So much that people actually thought that we were dating. We weren't at that time, but he had been dating other girls, so there was always that fine line of being friends and being friendly.
Darren had turned out to be one of those people who was always there for me. He was there when I turned 18 and for my graduation. He's someone I could count on. He was very sweet to me and caring, and during our friendship, I started to fall for him. Little did I know that he fell for me as well.
A year after first meeting, I went to college about an hour away. I promised him before I left that we would keep in touch, and I kept to that promise. We talked just about every night for hours. When I came home, I made sure to see him. One day, I went to his house and we just cuddled on his couch (we were both single at the time, just so you know), and I think we both felt that we were becoming more than just friends. The entire week after that was filled with constant flirting from the both of us. That Thursday I came back home for the weekend. We were texting, and he told me that he just started dating a girl that day! I burst into tears from reading that. I straight out told him that I liked him. He told me that he liked me too, so I asked him decide who he would rather be with, and he chose me :).
Since then, he and I have been through a lot in our relationship, including me transferring to another college this past January that is now two hours away from him. Pretty much our relationship has been long distance the entire time. Also, I knew that he was Mormon ever since we were friends and he knew I was Catholic. I didn't think about it much until we started dating, then I started to become concerned. I knew that Mormon guys most likely became missionaries, and I saw that happen with Darren's older brother, Robert (he will be back November this year from Idaho). I got very worried and upset that I won't be able to see or really talk to him for two years. This wasn't a decision that I made lightly. I thought long and hard about it, and I really cannot imagine my life without him in it. He means everything to me. So, with that, I made the decision to wait for him, and even though I know it will be the hardest two years of my life, in the end, I know it will be worth it.
We first met in August 2008. I was seventeen, a senior, and had just recently moved to Georgia from Pennsylvania. Darren was a sophomore and a month away from being sixteen. I first noticed him in my neighborhood on the first day of school when he was walking into his house, and thought to myself, "He looks cute... from the back." We were in marching band together, and we ended up next to each other for opening set, but I didn't know it was the same guy for weeks after that first glance. We didn't talk to each other until the first football game. We were on the sideline watching the other school's band performance. Then, that band started playing "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind, and Fire. I previously played that song in my old band so I was humming along to it. He then turned around and had a debate as to where or not it was a good song! Talk about first impressions! Just to mess with him I kept on shining the triangle on my shako (hat) in his eyes.
After that first time, we talked from time to time. It ended up feeling like he was stalking me, because he was everywhere! We ended up realizing that we were in the same band class together too (he played tuba, I played flute)! He would always come up to me and start talking, and I'm thinking to myself, "this is a little creepy." Then, he figured out that he and I live in the same neighborhood, and found out where I lived, so he started coming over to my house. However, as all this happened, we became the very best of friends. We were always together. So much that people actually thought that we were dating. We weren't at that time, but he had been dating other girls, so there was always that fine line of being friends and being friendly.
Darren had turned out to be one of those people who was always there for me. He was there when I turned 18 and for my graduation. He's someone I could count on. He was very sweet to me and caring, and during our friendship, I started to fall for him. Little did I know that he fell for me as well.
A year after first meeting, I went to college about an hour away. I promised him before I left that we would keep in touch, and I kept to that promise. We talked just about every night for hours. When I came home, I made sure to see him. One day, I went to his house and we just cuddled on his couch (we were both single at the time, just so you know), and I think we both felt that we were becoming more than just friends. The entire week after that was filled with constant flirting from the both of us. That Thursday I came back home for the weekend. We were texting, and he told me that he just started dating a girl that day! I burst into tears from reading that. I straight out told him that I liked him. He told me that he liked me too, so I asked him decide who he would rather be with, and he chose me :).
Since then, he and I have been through a lot in our relationship, including me transferring to another college this past January that is now two hours away from him. Pretty much our relationship has been long distance the entire time. Also, I knew that he was Mormon ever since we were friends and he knew I was Catholic. I didn't think about it much until we started dating, then I started to become concerned. I knew that Mormon guys most likely became missionaries, and I saw that happen with Darren's older brother, Robert (he will be back November this year from Idaho). I got very worried and upset that I won't be able to see or really talk to him for two years. This wasn't a decision that I made lightly. I thought long and hard about it, and I really cannot imagine my life without him in it. He means everything to me. So, with that, I made the decision to wait for him, and even though I know it will be the hardest two years of my life, in the end, I know it will be worth it.
Summer 2010
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