Wait For You

I definitely feel that this has really become my theme song during this wait, and I found a video that describes us perfectly.

Craving Fall

Now, normally I'm a summer girl. I love the beach and wearing shorts and skirts and tank tops. But lately, I've been wanting it to be fall. I'm not sure why. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the summers in Georgia are excruciating and impossible to enjoy. Yesterday, however, the weather was gorgeous. It was very nice in the morning and evening. If I didn't have so much going on, I totally would have been outside all day enjoying it. After that, my craving for fall escalated. Suddenly I'm ready to wear pants, long-sleeved shirts, hats and scarfs. I'm excited to get dressed up and wear my hair down without sweating. I'm wanting pumpkin with cinnamon and whipped cream, and I don't even eat pumpkin! The taste of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows is in my mouth. Also, being a college student, the sound of ramen sounds pretty good right now. It's interesting that I am feeling like this. Perhaps it also includes that football season is right around the corner. I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm ready for fall. I'm completely ready for the different colored leaves and enjoying weather. I'm ready for Halloween and Thanksgiving, and celebrating my two year anniversary with Darren :) I'm totally excited for what the fall has to offer.

My Love

There really hasn't been much to report lately. I haven't seen Darren ever since I was home, which has been almost two weeks, and I've been busy with school starting up and getting everything ready. Yesterday has marked our 22 months, and today it's approximately 670 days. I cannot believe we have been together this long. We've had our lows; we've had our highs; we've had everything to deal with. And we're still together.
Honestly I can't see it getting better than him. He has been the most absolute sweetheart to me, even at times when I haven't deserved it. He supports me in my endeavor to becoming a physical therapist. He completely understands that I will most likely move out of state for school, and he is even willing to follow me wherever I go. He's my pillow when I need comfort, my tissue when I cry, my clown when I need laughter, my knight in shining armor when I need protection. I could continue on how much he means to me, and how much he does for me. I honestly don't know how I got so lucky with him.
I really don't deserve someone like him. I don't want to go into details, but I have not treated him so well. Let's just say that when I get mad, it gets worse before it gets better. The fact that he wants to stay with me no matter what, it makes me feel a bit undeserving of his love. He needs to be treated well, but he wants to be with me, so I have to change how I am. My anger is hard to control, and because of it, I have hurt him, which I never want to do. I love him to no end, and I do hope he sees that.
I've been working on a blanket for him ever since May, and I finally finished it. I think it looks good, and I think that he'll like it. I want him to take it on his mission with him so he'll always have something personal that I made just for him. I never made a blanket for any guy, so I hope he knows just how special he is to me. I don't know where I would be without him. Not only is he the love of my life, but he's my best friend. He's the person I talk to about everything, and he's always there to listen.
When I'm with him, it's like magic, especially when he kisses me. I seriously get a high from his kisses. I forget where I am and what I'm doing, and I keep wanting more. His hugs comfort me and make me feel safe. And he gives the best massages I've ever received. I love every single gift he has given me, and I've kept everything. I even still have ticket stubs from different movies that we've seen together.
Honestly I could go on forever talking about him. I wouldn't know where to end. All I can say is that I'm incredibly grateful to have him in my life, even if I haven't shown it much. I do hope he knows how I feel about him and that I'm committed to him now, when he's on his mission, and beyond that.

One Religion Does Not Fit All

*Note: This just my opinion. It is not meant to tell anyone what to do. How you take what I say is up to you, but please be respectful of what I have to say, and I will do the same for you. Thank you.


It's pretty obvious that this is true since there are so many different religions in the world. Every person has their own way of interpreting things about how someone should live his/her life. Does that mean one person is right and another is wrong? No. It's all about interpretation. Let's take the Bible for instance. Each Christian denomination that I know interprets it in their own way. Some may choose to follow one thing, others may choose to follow it another way. For example, the Eucharist. Catholics believe in transubstantiation. Pretty much that means Catholics believe that the bread and wine offered in the Last Supper actually becomes the body and blood of Christ. Some other churches may believe that the bread and wine (or whatever they use in replace of wine) is more symbolic. That doesn't mean that one faith is right and one is wrong.
That's what I find to be difficult with different faiths. There are people who will bash other religions just because it isn't theirs. The thing behind it is that most people are ignorant of other religions. I think some are scared to learn about different faiths because they are worried that they will end up converting. For one, if you are very secure in your faith, learning about another shouldn't be intimidating. Secondly, if you do find yourself believing the other faith, is it really a bad thing? Is it so bad to finally be yourself and not hide the true you? Yes there may be bumps in the road but at the end of the day, it's what you believe, not what others believe.
As I have mentioned before, I grew up in the Catholic faith. My whole family's Catholic. I never really knew much about different faiths until I was about ten. When I was in high school, I began to question my faith. Was I Catholic because I wanted to be, or was it because that is what my family wanted me to be? With that, I started looking into other churches. Eventually I did realize that this is the church I believe in. However, just because it's right for me doesn't mean that it's right for everyone.
I've never been fond of religion bashing. A person's religion a lot of the time helps shape them into the person that they are. It gives a person morals, and to me, when a person does that, it's wrong. Yes there will be things that you don't agree with, but if there is one thing that I believe God wants all of us to do, it's be a good person. Celebrate and embrace the similarities among faiths. Learn the differences from the people who believe in it and try to understand their point of view. You don't have to agree with it; I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is just try to be respectful of different faiths, while at the same time, go with the faith that is right for you.

Whitewater

Since I'm home for five days before going back to school, of course I was going to see Darren while here. We both were getting tired of what we always do (movie and possibly dinner), so we decided to try something new. After some thinking, we decided on going to Whitewater. It's a nearby water park that both of us have been. It was definitely a fun and exciting time. We practically went on every ride there (I think we may have missed two or three rides). It was a beautiful day out. Also, since most of Georgia started school Monday, there weren't that many people there. There were hardly any lines for anything and it was an absolute blast. The most fun I think we had in a long time. Finally we were doing something active and we were able to talk about stuff. We practically stayed there the whole day. When we finished, we drove back near home and had dinner at Smokey Bones. Overall, it was an amazing day and I hope for more just like it.

2 Dresses

I know I won't be married for many many years down the road, but I can't help but start looking at stuff for my wedding. I started looking and getting ideas a little over a year ago and I've had fun with it. I looked at different locations, venues, entertainment, flowers, and much more. And of course, I have looked for a dress. Here's a little bit of background on what I want:
Since it is obvious that I won't be getting married in a temple, I wanted to have it somewhere that is a neutral setting, but still beautiful. For me, the beach is the most beautiful place. I love the ocean and when the sun sets on the horizon, it is the most breathtaking image ever. So for the beach, I want a short wedding dress. Something nice and cool and doesn't get dirty from dragging behind in the sand. For almost a year I had my eyes set on a dress. It was absolutely gorgeous and I could totally see myself in it. A couple of days ago, I just looked around for fun and my eyes fell on another beautiful dress. Short, but different from the first one.
It's difficult to choose, and I can only get them online. Because they are short, it will be cheap. The first dress I found costs $167, and the second dress I can loan a sample size online for about $35 and then go to a local store that sells that particular dress (actual price I'm not sure of). Is it possible that I can get two dresses? I'm sure I can wear both of them over and over, and I can have fun with them. I know there's a good chance that they'll be out of style by the time I do get married, but it doesn't hurt to look now. And Darren has seen them so I have no reason to hide them. He just won't know which one I'll choose.

Dress 1

Dress 2

Keeping the Faith

Yesterday, Darren came to visit me at school, and this past Friday was our 1 year, nine month anniversary. We got to see Harry Potter (which was amazing I must say, and a little bittersweet). After that, we went to a grocery store to get some food and stuff to make s'mores. They were delicious I must say. But just having that time with him and cuddling on the couch, I knew that I want to be with him. I always feel that way when we're together. Whenever I see him I just know that I'm meant to be with him.
He's a total sweetheart to me. As a surprise, he made me two clay butterflies, painted and all. He told me that he feels that butterflies symbolize our relationship. I was unsure of what he meant by it, until I looked up butterfly symbolism. Transformation is the main symbol, but another one is faith. He and I will be going through a lot of change in the coming years, and we will grow to become a better version of ourselves. During that time, it is important to keep the faith in our relationship strong. We have to stay strong and trust each other in order to make this work. Yes, there have been times where I wanted to give up, and he won't let me. He knows we're meant to be, and he continues to remind me. I do worry about the changes that are about to come. I know that there are possibilities of everything changing between us, but if we do end up with what we planned, then it will be worth it.
Yesterday, I finally got him to understand the importance of us waiting a few years after he comes home to get married. He's realized that to have the wedding we want, we need to save up money, and it's difficult to do so if we're both in school in a different state and with part time jobs. Luckily, he'll be done with school just as I am finishing up so we can both be in the workforce at the same time. I feel that it is important for us to have some stability first. I don't want to spend the first couple of years in complete debt and continuing to request student loans to pay for everything. It's just too much for us to handle with being students. I'm just glad that we're finally on the same page about this. This helps me know that we can work this out. I know that we will be together for about six years before finally getting married, but I know we're not ready now, and we won't be ready immediately when he returns. However, this is what is right for us, and I know he can get through it.