This past month has been a roller coaster. I don't remember a month that has been this stressful and exhausting. I haven't been this brought down in a long time, and I never wanted to go back to that feeling. And sadly, I was pushed back to that. And whenever I thought things were getting better, I was pushed back down again.
I feel like I'm being tested. Can I handle this pressure and pain on a regular basis? Will it ever get better? Will I ever be able to believe and trust again? At this point, I'm really not sure. I've been hurt so much and I really don't know if I can recover from it. I'm trying to keep my head held high and move on, but at nights, when I'm alone, I just want to cry my eyes out. Some days I feel like I'm just faking a smile just to get through the day. Most of the time I'm just existing, not really living. I know that's what I'm doing, but I don't know how to get out of that funk. I'm praying for strength, but so far I haven't received it yet. I'm trying to enjoy myself and move on with things, but at the end of the day, I'm back to feeling miserable.
I really don't know what to do. I feel lost and alone, even though people are here for me. I just want something to change, but I don't know how to go about it. I need help, and I need it immediately. I'm not asking my readers for advice but I'll take what anyone has to say.
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